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 Fem!au, HP!au: When Chanhee finds out that she'll fail potions and won't be accepted into the seventh year NEWT class if her work stays the same, she turns to Kyungsoon for help.

“Thank you, sir,” Chanhee fought to keep her voice cheerful as she left Professor Slughorn’s office. Just keep smiling, Chanhee, keep smiling. “Good night!”

Her smile melted off her face as soon as the door closed behind her. She wanted to sink to the floor along with it, but the potions corridor wasn’t the place.

Failing. She was failing potions. A sixth year, already preparing for her NEWTs, and she might not even make it into next year’s potions class. Her essays were, according to Professor Slughorn, good enough that they were keeping her at a D instead of a T, but essays alone were not enough to keep her at a passing grade.

“My girl, you’re a very bright young lady,” Professor Slughorn had told her. “And I can tell you’re trying. You did make it into my sixth year class, after all; but with the mistakes in your potions… I’m sorry, but you’ve got to do better or I won’t be able to accept you into my seventh year class.”

Chanhee didn’t know what to do. Sure, she hadn’t always had the best potions grades, but she had made out with an E on her OWL’s, and Baekhyun, who had been her potions partner since first year, had been able to keep her in line and focused, and his watchful eye meant that even when they were working on solo potions, she never added too much of one ingredient into the cauldron.

Maybe that was what was wrong with her: she’d relied on Baekhyun the Potions Prodigy for too long and he was the reason she’d done as well as she had, and now that they weren’t doing partnered potions, and he was stressed enough trying to get his own done, she was floundering.

Similar thoughts whirled around in her head the whole way back to the Gryffindor tower; there weren’t that many students out, since it was nearing curfew but not too close to time, but Chanhee could see from passing expressions that her mood was showing on her face. She couldn’t help it, though, she had no idea what she was going to do. By the time she was glumly muttering the password and climbing through the portrait hole, she was about ready to preemptively drop the class, even though she desperately needed to have NEWTs in potions.

The Gryffindor common room was, as usual, packed with people. She’d been hoping it wouldn’t be, but then again, it was before curfew, so she knew she should have expected it. The common room was pleasantly warm and buzzing with noise at a level just soft enough to not be overwhelming, even with the crowd; the fireplace and her usual spot on the sofa in front of it called to her like a sweet siren. Baekhyun was curled up with probably the only fiction book he’d had a chance to read all year, and had left Chanhee’s spot open for her.

She wanted to curl up next to him and just sleep, but at the same time, she knew he’d ask. He’d ask, and then she’d end up telling him because there was no way she could lie to Baekhyun, and he could tell whenever she was avoiding a subject, no matter how subtle she thought she was being. And if he didn’t start talking, someone else would, and for as much as Chanhee loved her housemates, she was in no mood to get dragged into prank plans or a game of exploding snap.

There was no subtle way for a girl as tall as she was to sneak through a crowd of her housemates. Little Junhong’s cat weaved in between and around her ankles, and she just barely managed to avoid tripping into a group of second years having a study session. Multiple people called out to her, but she waved them away with both her actual hand and the expression on her face. She just wanted to go to bed.

By the time Chanhee had made it up the stairs into her dorm room and had exchanged her robes for sleep clothes, she was so anxious that her heart was pounding. She felt like she might throw up, but at the same time knew she wouldn’t, as she climbed into her bed, closing the curtains tightly. Her heart was still pounding like a rock drummer and her limbs felt heavy, but at the same time they were aching with the urge to move. One of the cats was in the room with her, playing with a jingly ball, and even the small chimes from the bell inside it and the sound of the plastic rolling across the floor made her want to scream, she was so tense.

Chanhee cast the muffling spell Madame Pomfrey had showed her back in second year (a spell that muffled her own ears: she’d hear if someone was calling out to her, seriously trying to get her attention, but the white noise, like the cats playing or her roommates talking, would be muted) and tried to lay back and breathe.

As much as Chanhee was sure she should save herself the heart break and drop potions, she knew at the same time there was no way she could, no way that she would, until Professor Slughorn told her he couldn’t take her next year. She’d wanted to be a healer ever since she’d first come to Hogwarts, and she’d known she wanted to work in the children’s wing of St. Mungo’s ever since she was old enough to feel vaguely maternal towards the younger kids, Gryffindor and otherwise. She had no backup plan, no other career that she was even vaguely interested in. She absolutely had to be a healer, there was nothing else. And she needed potions, and top NEWTs to boot, for that. She had to get her potions grade up. If she could just get it up enough that she could get in the class, she could worry about her NEWT scores next year.

The more Chanhee focused on her breathing, the easier it was to think about something other than failing. She needed to at least give this a good try before she let it completely overwhelm her.

The first person Chanhee thought of was Baekhyun: he was her best friend, and more or less a potions prodigy. He’d been helping her out since they were first years, so he knew her strengths and weaknesses. He wasn’t a bad teacher, not all the time, and she thought she’d be able to figure it out with his help as long as she could get him to slow down and stop going on tangents.

But as soon as the thought entered her head, she waved it away. Baekhyun was just as stressed as Chanhee was, if not more so: Baekhyun was just as desperate to become an auror, and they were both in the same classes, Potions, Defense, Transfiguration, Charms, and Herbology. They were both drowning in homework, and while Chanhee was probably considered somewhat of a perfectionist at this point (although what sixth year wasn’t, if they were aiming for top NEWTs) Baekhyun took it to a completely different level, panicking if even a singular essay didn’t have at least an E.

Chanhee knew that if she asked Baekhyun for help, he would try. He was a good friend, and he knew how much becoming a healer meant to her, and he would try to take on tutoring her in addition to the mountain of work he had. And even as terrified as she was of failing, she wasn’t going to do that to Baekhyun. He was already wearing himself thin and she was not going to be the thing in his already packed schedule that made him break.

Chanhee had to focus on her breathing again. She’d made herself sick from anxiety before, and she was in no hurry to do it for the billionth time.

There was no way Chanhee could ask Baekhyun, but there had to be someone else. Not everyone in sixth year potions was going after something as demanding as healer or auror. But at the same time, then there was the worry that someone not going after a super demanding career wouldn’t get her up to the level of perfectionism she needed. On the other hand… she was failing, she couldn’t be too picky.

Chanhee went through the list, who would be the most likely to help, and who wasn’t in a similar boat as she was. Baekhyun was out, a good chunk of the people she knew well in their potions class were as well, either because of their stress levels or because she had a feeling Professor Slughorn might be having a similar meeting with them as he’d just had with her, and Jongdae wasn’t even in NEWTs potions, even though he’d qualified for it. Minseon had gotten a healing positon in a smaller hospital after she’d graduated, maybe Chanhee could…

Kyungsoon. Kyungsoon wasn’t the potions prodigy Baekhyun was, but at the same time she was one of the best students in the class. She was a Ravenclaw, and Chanhee hadn’t had too much of a chance to talk to her inside or outside of class, and she knew that Kyungsoon was shy so it wasn’t like the Ravenclaw girl was going to come up to her on her own, but she thought she remembered Kyungsoon saying something (and Kyungsoon talked very little so Chanhee usually remembered when she’d said something) about wanting to open a potions shop. She was good in potions and she’d understand the level of perfection Chanhee would need to reach.

Yes, Kyungsoon would be perfect. Hopefully she’d say yes.

The following morning brought a whole new set of difficulties. Chanhee was a social person, and approaching someone for a normal conversation wasn’t as difficult for her as it could be, but she didn’t know Kyungsoon super well and with so much of her life riding on her potions grade, and with no knowledge base to even guess how Kyungsoon would respond, Chanhee’s heart felt like it was about to beat right out of her chest again.

Still, she needed to do this, and if Kyungsoon said no, then she’d write Minseon and ask her for some reading or something.

They didn’t have potions again until Thursday, but Kyungsoon was in the sixth-year Herbology class. Baekhyun pouted at her when she told him she needed to grab breakfast and run, and she could see from the look in his eye that she’d be explaining later, but instead of asking he just shoved a piece of ham in her mouth and told her she needed protein and not just carbs.

Her heart was thumping in her chest, not like the rock drummer it had been last night, but fast enough that butterflies were starting to form in her stomach again. She made her way out the castle door and walked around the side to the green houses. Even though spring was nearly in the air, the air was still pretty crisp and cold, but Chanhee hoped the brief walk would do her head a bit of good. She nibbled on the piece of toast she’d grabbed, swallowing the last bite before she rounded the corner where the castle’s greenhouses sat.

There was still a while to go before the morning period was supposed to start, but Chanhee could see someone already sitting on one of the benches in the seating area outside of the row of greenhouses. Ravenclaw scarf, bobbed black hair… Yes, Chanhee saw when she got close enough to get a better look at the girl’s face, it was Kyungsoon.

Perfect, there’d be no having to awkwardly ask to talk to her privately.

Kyungsoon was reading, and she didn’t look up when Chanhee got close, or even when Chanhee sat down next to her. It took Chanhee clearing her throat awkwardly before Kyungsoon even gave any indication that she’d realized anyone had joined her, looking up with a slightly startled expression.

“Chanhee…” Kyungsoon trailed off, taking in Chanhee’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

Chanhee wrung her hands together, trying to remember to slow down so she wouldn’t stutter. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure?”

“I’m, um, I’m having trouble in potions,” Chanhee began awkwardly.

Kyungsoon just nodded, her expression shifting into something more neutral.

“And, um,” Chanhee continued, “could you tutor me? Professor Slughorn said that if I don’t improve he won’t be able to accept me into the seventh year class, and I absolutely have to have NEWTs in potions, and you don’t have to do it for very long or anything, just enough that I can get my grade up enough to stay in the class, I can worry about NEWTs on my own, but I can’t ask Baekhyun; he’s stressed enough without adding me to the pile of work he’s got going, you’ve seen him, he panics if he doesn’t get at least an E on everything, and I thought of you first cause you’re so good in potions and I thought I remembered you saying something about you wanting to open a potions shop? So I thought that you’d know how much of a perfectionist I’d need to be about this, and-“

“Chanhee.” Kyungsoon couldn’t find an opening in Chanhee’s mass of words so she held up her hand to make one.

“Sorry,” Chanhee said quickly, her voice a bit breathless. At least she didn’t stutter this time.

“It’s okay, I’ll tutor you.”

“Really?” Chanhee could almost feel her stomach unknot a little bit, and she was sure Kyungsoon could hear the relief in her voice. “Thank you!”

“Sure.” Kyungsoon smiled, small but friendly. “I’m only in a couple classes now, I have plenty of time. When do you want to meet?”

They figured out a time, 7:00 that night, enough time for them to eat dinner and plenty of time for them to get through something before curfew, and decided to meet in the potions classroom. Chanhee couldn’t help but watch as Kyungsoon wrote it down in a little planner, her handwriting neat but loopy. It looked like a muggle planner; nothing happened when she’d finished writing, and Chanhee had seen magical ones like her mother liked to keep that automatically bookmarked themselves, or were charmed to, loudly, remind the owner that they had an appointment coming up. The non-magical planner was weirdly cute to Chanhee, and she couldn’t help but smile.

By the time they were finished with Chanhee’s first attempt of a potion that night, however, any relief she’d felt that morning was dashed. Not because of Kyungsoon, oh no, Kyungsoon was a perfect teacher so far, but Chanhee’s own attempts…

“It’s not bad,” Kyungsoon said, but the little frown on her face said otherwise. “It’s not bad, it’s just not…”

“Sixth year work.” Chanhee and Kyungsoon said simultaneously.

“Exactly,” Kyungsoon said. “Let’s try an easier one and see how that goes.”

The next potion was a potion they’d learned in second year, and it went about as well as the first. Technically it was just fine, but it wasn’t sixth year work. It was the exact same potion that she’d made as a second year, and Kyungsoon did not miss that.

Kyungsoon inhaled like she was trying to de-stress, her cheeks puffing out in frustration. Chanhee bit her nails, waiting on the Ravenclaw to say something, anything.

“Okay, well, I know your starting point, at least.” Kyungsoon sounded like she was trying to be somewhat gentle about it, but Chanhee felt her heart sink back into her stomach. “Let’s stop for tonight, okay? I’ll do some reading, think of some things, and we can meet up again…”

“Any day you’re free,” Chanhee said quickly. She’d make it work, no matter what other assignments she was working on.

“Okay.” Kyungsoon gave her a little smile that Chanhee was sure was supposed to be reassuring, but Chanhee’s stomach was rolling too much for her to feel any better.

They met almost every night during the week, and used Saturdays to really work on essays. The nights weren’t super enjoyable for Chanhee, because she was so anxious about her potions, but Saturdays… Chanhee had never been so happy to spend her Saturdays in the library. Kyungsoon, Chanhee, and Baekhyun collectively took over one of the study tables; spreading out books and getting parchment ready to go (Kyungsoon used a regular muggle pen and Chanhee couldn’t help but think that was adorable, too.) Kyungsoon was quiet the first couple Saturdays, clamming up again with a new person, but by the third week she had warmed up to Baekhyun and while she wasn’t exactly chatty, she was far from distant.

Chanhee was in the middle of telling a story (well, telling Kyungsoon a story; Baekhyun complained that he’d heard this one a million times) when she found herself watching Kyungsoon’s expressions. She was watching, and presumably listening to, Chanhee every bit as intently as she listened to their professors, and Chanhee was already enjoying the way Kyungsoon’s eyes were shining. They didn’t shine like that when she talked to Baekhyun, and Chanhee couldn’t help but be proud of that.

When she got to the funny part of the story, how Chanhee’s old ferret had grabbed her older sister’s wand and had taken off running around the house, Kyungsoon smiled. Not her regular polite, small, smile, but a wide, beautiful smile. Her lips made the shape of a heart, and all Chanhee could think was Oh… Okay, I need to make her do this every day.

Then Kyungsoon laughed and Chanhee knew she was a gonner.

It was quite possibly the cutest thing Chanhee had ever witnessed in her life and she had been present for the Great Kitten Season of 2004, when multiple first years had brought their unfixed cats with them to school and by spring there were enough kittens to hunt down all the mice in Britain. The hordes of kittens had been cavity-inducing and precious in every way. Chanhee might be a bit biased, but she still thought that Kyungsoon’s smile was even sweeter.

Tutoring was still not getting any better, but Kyungsoon was being as encouraging as she possibly could.

“I don’t get it,” Kyungsoon said as she looked at Chanhee’s pepper-up potion. Like all her other potions that she’d made for Kyungsoon, it was technically fine… but it didn’t have that extra spark that a sixth year’s potion should have. It was the exact same potion she’d made as a younger student, which was fine, it got her an “exceeds expectations” on her OWL’s, it just wasn’t sixth year material.

Chanhee gripped her hair as she ran her fingers through it, and Kyungsoon brushed some of Chanhee’s hair that had come loose and fallen to her shoulder from the number of times she’d done that already, onto the floor.

“I don’t get it,” Kyungsoon said again. “You’re not an idiot. I’ve seen you work in our other classes, I’ve read your essays for our other classes; you’re very smart.”

Chanhee might have squealed internally from joy at Kyunsoon calling her ‘very smart’ if her stomach didn’t feel like it was made of lead in that moment.

“It’s just in potions that…” Kyungsoon trailed off, her expression changing to one of dawning realization.

“Chanhee,” Kyungsoon said suddenly, and Chanhee felt like she needed to snap to attention. “Why did you cut the peppercorn instead of crushing it?”

“Because the book had said to?” She hadn’t even thought about crushing it being an option.

“Why did you stir it sixteen times clockwise?”

“That’s what the book said to do.”

“Why did you add that much root?”

“Cause that’s how I memorized it when I learned how to make it!” Chanhee was a little frustrated. For all that Kyungsoon said that she wasn’t an idiot her questions were catching Chanhee off-guard and making her feel like one.

It was only the excited sparkle in Kyungsoon’s eye that calmed Chanhee right back down.

“Chanhee, who does the cooking at your house?”

“Um, probably Dad when I’m not home, but over the holidays, I do.”

“Potions is just magical cooking!”

“Huh?”

“Think about it!” Kyungsoon looked excited, her eyes sparkling and her smile slowly growing. “You know how when you first make something, you follow the recipe exactly, but then when you figure out how different ingredients work together you change it up?”

“Yeah, I mean, I edit my recipe books all the time.”

“We just need to focus on how all the ingredients of a potion work together! Once you have all the properties and how they react with other properties down, it’s just like magical cooking!”

“And I can change it up and make it sixth year work!”

“Exactly!” Kyungsoon was smiling and Chanhee would have done anything if it meant Kyungsoon would smile like that because of her.

They changed their tutoring sessions so that they were spending more time in the library than not, only meeting to brew potions once a week. Catching up on ingredient properties was a bit difficult, but Kyungsoon said Chanhee had a brain for it and that she was going a lot faster than a lot of people would be. Baekhyun still joined them on Saturdays, homework days, but the weeknight tutoring sessions were just the two of them.

Chanhee loved it. Kyungsoon didn’t talk much in class, and she’d even elbow Chanhee away if she got too close, but during their tutoring sessions, and even, now, their Saturday homework sessions, Kyungsoon was easily coaxed out of her shell. Kyungsoon even smiled, a surprising amount, and Chanhee felt her heart skip a beat or five every time she did.

Chanhee was able to be herself as these new sessions went on as well; potions in general were coming easier to her, she was getting better and better in class, and Professor Slughorn had actually smiled at one of her potions, with a happy little ‘good work, Miss Park.’ Chanhee’s anxiety levels had decreased by a lot, even if she wasn’t quite where she needed to be, she was getting there, and that was what counted.

The lack of butterflies in her stomach and not constantly feeling like she wanted to curl up in her blankets and never come out or sink into the floor or some other method of Avoiding All Her Problems did wonders for Chanhee’s general outlook on social interaction. She was happy to stay in the common room after curfew and play exploding snap with the third years, or sprawl out on the couch next to Baekhyun and force her head into his lap while he read, using his legs for a pillow (his thighs were wonderful neck support, she had to say) while she, in turn, actually took a break and read the muggle novel that her aunt had gotten her for Christmas. She inhaled the new book smell until Baekhyun flicked her forehead.

“You’re being creepy,” he told her.

“You’re one to talk,” she replied.

He flicked her forehead again, but went back to reading.

Most importantly, though, the increase in Chanhee’s good mood ended up with her and Kyungsoon being together for more than just tutoring or homework sessions. Chanhee had started eating about half of her breakfast with Baekhyun and then sneaking food out (she was a sixth year: transfiguring an old quill into a container and hiding it was as easy as breathing) to finish eating on the benches in the seating area outside the greenhouses, or in the alcove by the potions classroom, or in the astronomy tower (honestly Chanhee wasn’t sure how she hadn’t run into Kyungsoon more before this year: her hang out spots were not terribly unique.)

She couldn’t help the fluttering her heart made when Kyungsoon smiled whenever she saw Chanhee approaching with breakfast and put her book away.

Mornings with Kyungsoon were honestly Chanhee’s favorite part of the day. Everyone else in the school seemed to be in the Great Hall (boarding school and good cooking tended to turn everyone into a breakfast person whether they wanted to be or not) and so she and Kyungsoon could talk in peace.

They liked the same kinds of books, both muggle and magical, and they both loved to cook. Kyungsoo did more baking than Chanhee did, but Chanhee thought that was what made them the perfect pair in the kitchen (although she didn’t say that out loud.) Chanhee mentioned muggle movies that she’d seen, and Kyungsoon lit up and mentioned several other movies that she thought Chanhee would like. They realized that they didn’t live that far away from each other, not even an hour even if they were flying on clunky old Cleansweeps, and Chanhee couldn’t stop grinning when it seemed like Kyungsoon was just as excited about this as she was.

Kyungsoon was quiet where Chanhee was loud. Chanhee was a complete cuddle monster, always wanting physical affection, where Kyungsoon was a bit pickier about when she wanted to even hold hands. Chanhee was anxious where Kyungsoon was quietly calm, and it was in the moments when Chanhee’s stomach turned to lead and her thoughts began to tell her that there was no way she could do this, even with all the progress she had made, when Kyungsoon gently but firmly held her hand under the study table, sometimes rubbing her thumb over the back of Chanhee’s hand.

They were opposites in many ways, but they were also very similar. They liked very similar, if not the same, things. They smiled and laughed a lot around each other, and Chanhee could not get enough of Kyungsoon’s sweet heart-shaped smile and her cute little laugh. They could joke around like they didn’t have a care in the world, but then they could both be very serious and buckle down studying when they needed to. They were both very driven, even if their goals were a bit different.

They worked well together, and both of them could tell when the other needed something. Chanhee managed to quiet down when she could tell Kyungsoon was stressed, and Kyungsoon knew just when to gently hold Chanhee’s hand when Chanhee was so anxious she thought she might explode and become the new library ghost. Once Kyungsoon had even started playing with Chanhee’s hair and Chanhee had had to fight very hard not to let out a very inappropriate moan in the middle of the library. Kyungsoon had the perfect touch and Chanhee’s thoughts were reduced to ‘Yeeeeeeeesssss please don’t stop that feels amazing.”

They also celebrated the same way. Early April, when Chanhee got a potions essay back with an “Exceeds Expectations” on it, her eyes about popped out of her head and she grabbed Kyungsoon’s arm to get her attention. Kyungsoon gripped Chanhee’s sleeve tightly, and her face lit up. Later, when they were meeting for a tutoring session, they both went in for a hug at the same time, and Kyungsoon pulled her down to hug her properly.

“I’m so proud of you!” Kyungsoon said, and she was smiling. She was smiling that precious heart smile because she was proud of Chanhee.

Chanhee absolutely loved her.

Chanhee getting an E on her last essay was one of the reasons, but certainly not the only one, that Kyungsoon called for a break in studying during late April. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, and Baekhyun had already taken off, claiming that he’d already gotten his work for the next few days done and he needed a brain break. Chanhee met Kyungsoon at the door to the library, parchment ready to go, only to find Kyungsoon in muggle clothing instead of her uniform robes, and carrying a muggle purse rather than her book bag.

“Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?” Kyungsoon asked her when Chanhee got close enough for Kyungsoon not to have to raise her voice. “You did really well on your essay, and it’s the last Hogsmeade weekend of the year, and I thought we could use a break before we start working on our exam studying.”

As if Chanhee could say anything but “Yes, of course, let me go change!”

Going through Hogsmeade with Kyungsoon felt like a date. Kyungsoon was in a cuddly mood, and Chanhee took full advantage of it, and held Kyungsoon’s hand as they walked. Kyungsoon was the perfect height to rest her head on Chanhee’s shoulder, which she actually did in the less crowded streets, and Chanhee hoped desperately that Kyungsoon couldn’t feel her heart pounding.

They went to Honeyduke’s, of course, and if they bought a little bit more than either of them usually did, it was in anticipation of Studying Hell that would be coming up soon. Chanhee watched Kyungsoon stuff her bag of crystalized pineapple and boxes of cauldron cakes in her purse (she definitely had an extending charm on that) and made a mental note to send her more over the summer. Chanhee ended up buying no-melt ice cream for both of them and they ate it while they walked through the village. There was the mandatory (well, Chanhee said it was mandatory and Kyungsoon rolled her eyes but didn’t protest) trip to Zonko’s, although they didn’t stay long since the shop was packed with third years and a very stressed looking sales attendant, and they spent a while in Tomes and Scrolls. Chanhee didn’t need anything, she was going to be doing plenty of class reading and she still hadn’t had time to finish that novel her aunt had gotten her if, by some random planet alignment, she did manage to find time to read for pleasure; but Kyungsoon asked her about wizard fiction that she’d read as a child and was able to find several of Chanhee’s favorites.

They met up with Baekhyun and Jongdae, who had Jongin, Tao, and Sehun in tow, for drinks at the Three Broomsticks before they decided to head back. The drinks were a good way to finish out the day: Jongdae and Baekhyun tried to convince Madame Rosemerta that she should totally serve them firewhiskey, and Jongin and Sehun got truly epic foam mustaches from their butterbeer. Chanhee almost had butterbeer go through her nose just watching them, and Kyungsoon rolled her eyes but still smiled and patted Chanhee’s back when she coughed.

The boys wanted to stay out a bit longer, but after drinks Chanhee was getting tired and she could tell Kyungsoon was, too. They still held hands as they walked back up to the castle and Chanhee knew Kyungsoon could see the happy flush on her face but didn’t comment.

All in all, a perfect day; exactly what Chanhee needed.

Chanhee tried to remember the high of Hogsmeade weekend as she, along with the rest of her fellow sixth years, descended into Study Hell. Sure, final exams had always been stressful as a younger student, but NEWT level courses were on a completely different level. Chanhee was especially stressed, though, since so much was riding on her potions score. She thought her hair might have a permanent kink in it from her hand gripping it nervously while she studied, and the time just before she fell asleep, when she was lying in bed, was spent with the curtains drawn and the muffling charm cast on her ears as she either stared at the ceiling with wide eyes or closed them and tried desperately to regulate her breathing.

Kyungsoon was her saving grace; on Saturdays she kept both Chanhee and Baekhyun from turning into literal balls of stress, and on the weekdays calmly reassured Chanhee, while massaging her wrists, that Chanhee was not an idiot and she would be okay. Of course, Kyungsoon had her own studying to do, but she wasn’t in as many classes and so had more time on her hands to do it.

She felt at least mildly confident about most of her classes; she’d escaped Herbology with only a few bites from the more temperamental plants, and Professor Flitwick had beamed at her when she’d finished and handed her exam in. Everything else had gone about the same… and then potions was last.

She had panicked while waiting for Professor Slughorn to show up, and Kyungsoon had held her hands gently, rubbing the backs with her thumbs, while murmuring encouragement and reassurances. Professor Slughorn had smiled at her potion and Chanhee might have felt relieved if it didn’t feel like she might lose what little breakfast she’d been able to eat.

And then it was a waiting game. They wouldn’t receive their scores until the summer, but there were still a few days left at Hogwarts while the younger students finished up their exams, and everyone packed to go home. Chanhee and Kyungsoon had both finished packing early, and so this waiting period was spent lounging out in the wonderfully pleasant weather, in the grass by the lake. Kyungsoon was getting back to her pleasure reading, starting on the novels that she’d bought at Hogsmeade, and Chanhee would have been finishing the novel her aunt had given her if she felt like she could concentrate on anything but the anxiety bubbling in her stomach.

They were out by the lake, on a warm Thursday afternoon, when Chanhee got the note. A plump little owl dropped an envelope right on her chest, before flying back to the castle, and Chanhee sat up, ripping into the envelope.

A simple note on just a few centimeters of parchment:

“Miss Chanhee Park,

            Please stop by my office this afternoon.

Professor Slughorn”

Chanhee felt her stomach drop, and her heart started pounding. This was it, he’d tell her one way or the other. She showed the note to Kyungsoon, who looked at her with wide eyes.

“It has to be good news,” she said softly. “It has to be.”

Chanhee wanted to believe her, but the anxiety said otherwise.

“Do you want me to walk with you?”

Chanhee nodded, and Kyungsoon took her hand.

Chanhee felt like she was meeting with the executioner when she knocked on Professor Slughorn’s door. After only a moment he told her to come in, and she, very reluctantly, let go of Kyungsoon’s hand and walked inside.

Chanhee felt almost numb when he told her, and it seemed like she blinked and then was thanking him as she stood up and walked to the door.

Kyungsoon was at her side as soon as she closed it.

“How… what did he say?”

Chanhee stood there for a moment, still processing, before she let a wide smile take over her face.

“I got an E in the class!” she screeched.

And suddenly she found herself with her arms full of Kyungsoon, hugging her tightly and pressing her lips to hers. All she could think was ‘her lips are so soft,’ as she stood there, too shocked to even kiss back.

Suddenly, Kyungsoon pulled away, her face bright red and her eyes wide.

“I am so sorry!” She was clearly flustered. “I got caught up in the moment, I was just so happy and proud of you and I don’t even know if you like girls, and-!”

“Kyungsoon,” Chanhee grinned. “You just caught me by surprise. Yes, I like girls, and I like you a lot.”

Kyungsoon was still blushing when Chanhee wrapped her arms around her.

“So, if we want to find somewhere a bit more private than the potions corridor…”

Kyungsoon smacked her arm, but pulled Chanhee down to kiss her again.

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